My Wildmuse Journey
When I was a little girl, songs and stories constantly came through me as I walked up and down my garden and communed with the trees & the fairies & the moss-covered rocks in the forests of South Africa.
I had so many stories that I needed to dictate them to my parents before I could write them down myself.
I was a whirl of creative energy and I couldn't wait.
And then that got shut down.
In year one of 1980's schooling, I learned that it wasn't OK to sing and talk a lot and be a bookworm.
In short, to be who I was.
Obsession with achievement, perfectionism and self-doubt grew through years of academia and the narrow margins of a conformist society.
Add school bullying and an unstable home environment into the mix, and I became a shy creatrix in hiding.
I watched others sing and share their creative gifts and I thought this was for them, not for me.
I didn't have the courage. And I didn't think I had the talent.
Then at 21, I did the Artist's Way process by Julia Cameron and started writing poetry again, self-publishing a pamphlet and getting several poems published in literary magazines.
I moved to England and began performing spoken word for the 1st time, even co-creating a performance poetry 'band' called the Writing Sisters Collective.
But singing was still my unclaimed edge One day, I got so jealous of a singer-songwriter friend that I finally got up on a stage and sang at a social gathering.
Instead of staying stuck in my jealousy and envy, I asked her for support - and she happily accompanied me on the guitar while I sang.
Even though I was terrified to the point of dissociation when I first got up there, something happened.
I entered into a timeless realm where nothing else existed but my voice and the song coming through me.
All my fear disappeared and I felt totally, whole-heartedly, HERE.
I found out that my Muse had never truly gone away.
And I know yours hasn't, either.
After 9 years of mostly single motherhood, I self-published my ground-breaking book, 'Wild Motherhood', the first book to bring together motherhood, creativity and spirituality by bringing forward the voices of mothers themselves - and my own.
But I still longed to go deeper into creative expression. To find my freedom again.
When my life was turned upside down by an eviction and my 10-year-old son moving in with his dad, I took the opportunity to do life differently.
I went on a nomadic journey for a year, living in a van with my partner & getting up close to nature and the sacred sites of the British Isles.
Getting dirty and real and basic. Learning to once again listen to the trees. Because I knew that nature was the key to my creativity and to my connection with all life.
I discovered my wildness drumming and improvising songs naked for hours at a rainbow gathering. And over the next few years I started to create and share more and more music, brave step by brave step.
I began to co-facilitate music improvisation sessions in community and festival settings, where so much magic happened.
I've just completed my second book, a memoir of my year on the road (coming soon!), and am volunteering at a beautiful Welsh ecovillage while writing songs or playing music every day now.
And as a poet-seer, a lover of beauty, and a fierce protector of the feminine principle in life - that which is receptive, flowing, wild, natural & ever-changing - as an adventurer, a dreamer, a visionary woman....
I'm called to something more: called to create community and to serve the soul of creativity and the spirit of nature on this planet.
I'm here for you, through song, through words, through deep listening space & the wisdom of cycles.
Here at WildMuse Portal, we'll play with how to live an inspired life. We'll find our belonging with nature, with ourselves and each other. And with the creative force running through us all.